April 26, 2009

Happy Birthday, Lin

In 1975 my parents purchased a house in the foothills of Bountiful Utah located near the mouth of North Canyon. This house was one of the first to be built in a subdivision that would later sprawl deeper into the canyon and go further up the hill.

My friend Lin Dalley and I felt as though we were on the edge of the wilderness as we'd hike through the scrub oak and play adventurous games in half constructed houses. It was a fertile playground and looking back I'm mighty grateful that we didn't get hurt or lost or something equally as tragic.

As time passed by Lin and I became pretty good friends. We attended the same Ward, walked to school together and shared many of the same friends. Lin was solid and I trusted him with just about every random thought a pre-pubescent boy could muster.

We grew older and our lives became more complex. Puberty hit and girls became interesting. We longed for the day that we'd get our drivers license and share strategies and tips on shaving. We also spent a lot of time at our favorite church leader's house watching movies broadcast with this new gadget called a VCR. It was so cool to watch a recent movie at someones home. It blew our minds, really.

In high school we went about our various pursuits. Lin played football and ran track while I sealed my fate in the band room. We were still close right up to the day of graduation.

Then came our mission calls. Lucky Lin got to go to beautiful Bilbao Spain while I was stuck in cold cold Minneapolis. We exchanged a few letters and kept in touch about as much as 20 year old men do. Upon our return our contact diminished as we moved on to our respective adult lives.

I can't really explain why, but for some reason I've always remembered that Lin's birthday is on April 27th. Every year on this day I think that I should track Lin down and call him up. I'd love to catch up and talk about our new lives, families and challenges. It really wouldn't have been that hard to do as Lin's parents still live in the same house.

Through the grapevine I learned that Lin became an EMT and eventually a Captain of the Provo Fire Department. It made perfect sense to me that Lin devoted his career to caring for people as it seemed like a perfect fit given that he was always looking out for others.

Then last fall I got a message from my mom that Lin took his life. I was destroyed for a few days as I tried to make sense of it all. Eventually I hit a brick wall when I realized that there was no possible way to make sense of it as suicide isn't a logical act.

I was (and am) so sad. Lin would have turned 40 today. Kind of ironic that I will be presiding over a similar funeral for a member of my Ward later on today. I'm not sure why, but I've been experiencing a lot of suicide lately.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Lin. I am so grateful for your friendship. I am who I am because of knowing you. I really wish I would have called. May God be with you 'till we meet again.

Posted by patatomic at April 26, 2009 08:43 PM

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Thanks for posting this. I can't say exactly why it helps me but it does. Sorry for you loss of a friend.

Posted by: westerndave at April 27, 2009 09:31 AM

Thanks for this Pat. It shocked me to the core when I heard about Lin. It hits so close when it is someone you grew up with, and we can never know what was going on in his head at the time. The sad thing is we can only wish we had called... He was a good guy and he is missed.

Posted by: Melanie Spjut at April 27, 2009 10:50 AM

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April 26, 2009

Happy Birthday, Lin

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